The Prodigal
After A sermon at our Monday night prayer, July 2011 my stepmom asked if she could pray with me, as we started praying, I was renewed in Gods spirit. Around me were my loving church members praying with me. I left that night with peace in my heart, and knew I was never going back to the ways I had adapted to. Shortly after committing my life to God, he impressed Proverbs 3:5-10 on me. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.3:6 seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take. 3:7 don’t be impressed with your own wisdom. Instead, fear the Lord and turn away from evil. 3:8 then you will have healing for your body and strength for your bones. 3:9 Honors the Lord with your wealth and with the best part of everything you produce.3:10” Then he will fill your barns with grain, and your vats will overflow with good wine. God has used these scriptures to help me get through the times that I needed more faith in him, and strength to fight the devil.
Outlooks on life
Two and a half years before that Monday night prayer I remember calling my dad and telling him i was abandoning my faith. He asked if I wanted to pray about it, I hesitated, said no, and gave excuses. From then on, even though I was almost only 16 I thought I could live how I wanted, I started out thinking and saying I would never wear a mini skirt, And that I would be careful who I dated. I proved that wrong quickly. Soon I started dating a boy from my sophomore class, he was funny, fun, and his hyper personality complimented my quiet personality. A few months later we believed we were in love, only to find out after three months of dating he almost cheated on me because I wouldn’t have sex with him, I was hurt, shocked, and had no idea how to handle it. by then I was too intimidated and scared to break up with him, I was obsessed, he was obsessed, he often threatened saying he would kill himself if I broke up with him, he was an obsessive drinker, I started to realize I was not in a healthy relationship. After a year and a couple months of dating I broke up with him. I then became close friends with a girl at school, we spent every minute together partying, cared less about school, experimented with drugs, and alcohol together, there was a party that i smoked marijuana, drank alcohol and took a couple pills, and completely forgot what I did for the rest of the night. Another time I took 9 cough and cold pills, to get a “trip” off them, I was throwing up, couldn’t sleep, everything was moving ,those were times I was lucky I didn’t bring death to myself. Often I feel the effects of forgetfulness, no doubt because drugs cause memory loss. I have many stories, of stupid things I did through that year with use of drugs. I often have feelings of guilt and unwanted memories. Thankfully God has the great mercy to wash away my sins (but the memories will never leave) I have been able to use my testimony to encourage people. When I was at one of the lowest points in my life; depressed and confused, that’s when God stepped in. I vividly remember how he spoke to my heart, which started my never ending journey to be closer with the Lord. God has given me a passion to be a youth helper, I have had a passion since I was young to help people and I love to share my testimony. I believe I left God because I didn’t have a relationship with him and I let sinful thoughts into my head, which lead to sinful actions James 1:15 says, These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death. When i let this happen in my life, I brought a lot of harm to myself, physically, mentally, and emotionally. I also recently realized I had an eating disorder, I always thought I looked “too big”, but I am healthier now, the devil often likes to bring that thought back up, and I sometimes struggle. Another thing was I always felt the need to “like” someone and be liked back, this lead to unhealthy actions.
The ending statement
As you read in my testimony, this past half year God has helped turn my old ways into his ways. He has lead me, given me mentors, encouragement, wisdom, strength, patience, faith, trust, burdens, convictions. To anyone out there, if you don’t feel like your life is right with God, I challenge you to seek him, and find out how you can become closer to him. If you feel that your life is right with God, then to reassure yourself I encourage you to ask God that question, because no matter how old and wise we get , we don’t know everything. I pray that God blesses all that do and don’t have the chance to read this! Revelation 12:11 and they overcome him by the the blood of the lamb, and by the word of their testimony; and they loved not their lives unto the death.
